Mostly Everything Awesome

A Poem I wrote years ago… randomly found.

I woke up to the frost, 

From the warmth in my bed, 

With famed visions of sugarplums

Clouding my head.

Into the living room,

I went to see,

The stockings that were hung,

By the chimney with glee.

But where were the presents?

And where was the tree?

It was then the door opened, 

My parents appeared. 

Had they forgotten,

about Christmas? I feared. 

But my mom didn’t mention,

Any of this to me,

Instead she just asked, 

“Who turned up the A/C?

I hung up the wet socks,

so that they would dry.”

“What about Christmas?!”

I couldn’t help but cry.

“Christmas?” she asked,

“You silly buffoon. 

It’s not for six months,

It’s the middle of June.”

My friend got an FMA state alchemist pocket watch. Here is the conversation that ensued.

[7:35:54 PM] Kristin Meissner: I want it ;__;

[7:36:06 PM] Kristin Meissner: does it work well?

[7:36:19 PM] alex elle: yeah its a legit pocket watch

[7:36:35 PM] alex elle: although I think the alchemic power booster is faulty

[7:36:41 PM] alex elle: i haven’t been able to do any alchemy

[7:36:45 PM] Kristin Meissner: aw man

[7:37:01 PM] Kristin Meissner: well you gotta draw your circle

[7:37:12 PM] Kristin Meissner: I see all your limbs are present so I am assuming you haven’t seen the truth

[7:37:27 PM] alex elle: hey man

[7:37:30 PM] alex elle: i lost my teeth

[7:37:33 PM] Kristin Meissner: or crap

[7:37:37 PM] Kristin Meissner: dangit I was just gonna say that

[7:38:56 PM] Kristin Meissner: well I havent seen the truth ;__;

[7:39:02 PM] Kristin Meissner: I will wear cool gloves

[7:39:42 PM] Kristin Meissner: or maybe

[7:39:43 PM] Kristin Meissner: maybe

[7:39:51 PM] Kristin Meissner: this is why I suddenly lost 90% of my vision!

[7:39:59 PM] alex elle: LOL

[7:40:00 PM] alex elle: XD

[7:40:08 PM] alex elle: Im not sure

[7:40:09 PM] alex elle: that counts.

[7:40:10 PM] alex elle: XD

[7:40:21 PM] Kristin Meissner: blind or it doesn’t count?

[7:40:26 PM] alex elle: LOL

[7:40:31 PM] alex elle: eyeless or it doesn’t count

[7:40:50 PM] Kristin Meissner: are you done brotherhood yet?

[7:40:54 PM] alex elle: nope

[7:40:54 PM] alex elle: almost

[7:41:00 PM] Kristin Meissner: ok well blind counts

[7:41:03 PM] alex elle: LOL

[7:41:07 PM] Kristin Meissner: <3

Me: Why is Pokemon still a thing?

Pokemon:

 

bootyshortscronus:

when you’re just standing there not on your period and suddenly your lady parts do the thing

(via ringosohma)